I FUCKING HATE SPIDERS!!!

So at 12:30 this morning I was 1/2 awake, 1/2 asleep and then I feel something crawl across my leg. I jump out of bed and turn on the lamp. Katie was like, "WTF?" I'm tossing pillows and blankets everywhere, NOT getting back into bed until I have found what it was that was on me! I see it, then it scurries under her body pillow, so I toss that aside and then I see it again... A GOD DAMNED SUN SPIDER!!! Katie jumps up, grabs a shoe (I am ridiculously arachnaphobic) and kills it for me...then I have to get back into bed and lay there, feeling like there are spiders crawling on me...I think I finally went to sleep again around 1:45...uugghh.

I did look them up online today and found out they are NOT poisonous - they have no venoum glands. And that you should NOT kill them as they eat mites and ticks and other insects in your home. YEAH, WHATEVER! If you're a spider and you're in my bed and on ME no less, your ass is gonna be smashed, BITCH!

Copy and paste and add to my comments section...

1. Who are you?

2. Are we friends?

3. When and how did we meet?

4. Do you have a crush on me?

5. Would you kiss me?

6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.

7. Describe me in one word:

8. What was your first impression?

9. Do you still think that way about me now?

10. What reminds you of me?

11. If you could give me anything what would it be?

12. How well do you know me?

13. When's the last time you saw me?

14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?

15. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you?

Steam man...

homemade videos (amy grant, 'hey heeeey')...

staying home from work and watching porn...

hanging out of the car window, "and isn't it ironic?"...

Southern Comfort...

Aftershock...

drunken nights on the internet...

SUGAR HIGH!...

Casey, Mandy...

Twister (the movie)...

The Exorcist...(I wasn't allowed to go home that night)

Sonic...

Cross Country...

MCI...

Spherion...(for a number of reasons)

being dragged to softball games...

chasing amy...

clerks...

The Sky Is Falling

" A piece of up there just landed down here...the sky is falling!" Remember that episode of The Golden Girls?"

July 16...MARK YOUR CALENDARS!

Music just doesn't get any better than this

Artist: Geto Boys
Song: Damn It Feels Good to Be a Gangsta

Verse 1

Damn it feels good to be a gangsta
A real gangsta-ass nigga plays his cards right
A real gangsta-ass nigga never runs his fuckin mouth
Cuz real gangsta-ass niggas don't start fights
And niggas always gotta high cap
Showin' all his boys how he shot em
But real gangsta-ass niggas don't flex nuts
Cuz real gangsta-ass niggas know they got em
And everythings cool in the mind of a gangsta
Cuz gangsta-ass niggas think deep
Up three-sixty-five a year 24/7
Cuz real gangsta ass niggas don't sleep

And all I gotta say to you
Wannabe, gonnabe, cocksuckin', pussy-eatin' prankstas
Cuz when the fry dies down what the fuck you gonna do
Damn it feels good to be a gangsta

Verse 2

Damn it feels good to be a gangsta
Feedin' the poor and hepin out wit they bills
Although I was born in Jamaica
Now I'm in the US makin' deals
Damn it feels good to be a gangsta
I mean one that you don't really know
Ridin' around town in a drop-top Benz
Hittin' switches in my black six-fo'
Now gangsta-ass niggas come in all shapes and colors
Some got killed in the past
But this gangtsa here is a smart one
Started living for the lord and I'll last

Now all I gotta say to you
Wannabe, gonnabe, pussy-eatin' cocksuckin' prankstas
When the shit jumps off what the fuck you gonna do
Damn it feels good to be a gangsta

Verse 3

Damn it feels good to be a gangsta
A real gangta-ass nigga knows the play
Real gangsta-ass niggas get the flyest of the bitches
Ask that gangsta-ass nigga Little Jake
Now bitches look at gangsta-ass niggas like a stop sign
And play the role of Little Miss Sweet
But catch the bitch all alone get the digit take her out
and then dump-hittin' the ass with the meat
Cuz gangsta-ass niggas be the gang playas
And everythings quiet in the clique
A gangsta-ass nigga pulls the trigger
And his partners in the posse ain't tellin' off shit
Real gangsta-ass niggas don't talk much
All ya hear is the black from the gun blast
And real gangsta-ass niggas don't run for shit
Cuz real gangsta-ass niggas can't run fast
Now when you in the free world talkin' shit do the shit
Hit the pen and let the mothafuckas shank ya
But niggas like myself kick back and peep game
Cuz damn it feels good to be a gangsta

Verse 4

And now, a word from the President!
Damn it feels good to be a gangsta
Gettin voted into the White House
Everything lookin good to the people of the world
But the Mafia family is my boss
So every now and then I owe a favor gettin' down
like lettin' a big drug shipment through
And send 'em to the poor community
So we can bust you know who
So voters of the world keep supportin' me
And I promise to take you very far
Other leaders better not upset me
Or I'll send a million troops to die at war
To all you Republicans, that helped me win
I sincerely like to thank you
Cuz now I got the world swingin' from my nuts
And damn it feels good to be a gangsta

Your Linguistic Profile:

80% General American English

10% Upper Midwestern

5% Dixie

5% Yankee

0% Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?