My next tat

I paid 10 bucks for this tattoo design last year...I'm going to get it sometime this year. I love ambigrams. They are huge now because of The Da Vinci Code.

So my fellow movie-goers...Hollywood is here, currently filming a movie called "SNAPPERS", although that's ALL I know about the film. The casting agent called me a few days ago to offer me the position of STAND-IN for Richard Kind. I'm WAY excited! I actually get to mingle with the "stars". So I met with her yesterday (the casting agent) and I'll be doing the stand-in work April 1,2,3 and a casino scene on March 27th and an airplane "LAX" scene on the 28th. The pay is great and I'M TOTALLY STOKED! =)

I'll keep you updated on the latest Hollywood gossip.

Peace out.

I DIG the Chicks!

I hate a hypocrite! After The Dixie Chicks made that anti-Bush comment (2003), the industry shunned them, fans burned their cd's and even went as far as sending death threats...

Ah, but fast forward 4 years to the Grammy Awards...The Chicks won all 5 awards for which they were nominated - including album (Taking the Long Way) and song of the year (Not Ready To Make Nice). On the top 20 chart, they went from number 72 to number 8. Two weeks ago, their then-moribund album moved 6,000 copies; after the five-award sweep, it sold 103,000!

It just goes to show that you should never be afraid to speak your mind, cause chances are, people will agree with you...they're just too chicken shit to say it themselves!

Way to make a come-back!

Not Ready To Make Nice

Forgive, sounds good.

Forget, I'm not sure I could.

They say time heals everything,But I'm still waiting

I'm through, with doubt,

There's nothing left for me to figure out,

I've paid a price, and i'll keep paying

I'm not ready to make nice,

I'm not ready to back down,

I'm still mad as hell

And I don't have timeTo go round and round and round

It's too late to make it right

I probably wouldn't if I could

Cause I'm mad as hell

Can't bring myself to do what it is

You think I should

I know you said

Why can't you just get over it,

It turned my whole world around

and i kind of like it

I made by bed, and I sleep like a baby,

With no regrets and I don't mind saying,

It's a sad sad story

That a mother will teach her daughter

that she ought to hate a perfect stranger.

And how in the world

Can the words that I said

Send somebody so over the edge

That they'd write me a letter

Saying that I better shut up and sing

Or my life will be over

I'm not ready to make nice,

I'm not ready to back down,

I'm still mad as hell

And I don't have time

To go round and round and round

It's too late to make it right

I probably wouldn't if I could

Cause I'm mad as hell

Can't bring myself to do what it is

You think I should

I'm not ready to make nice,

I'm not ready to back down,

I'm still mad as hell

And I don't have time

To go round and round and round

It's too late to make it right

I probably wouldn't if I could

Cause I'm mad as hell

Can't bring myself to do what it is

You think I should

Forgive, sounds good.

Forget, I'm not sure I could.

They say time heals everything,

But I'm still waiting

YEAH BABY!

She was a dirty whore, who lost too much weight too quickly from taking that damn DEATH-spa....

but she didn't deserve to die!

R.I.P. Anna

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2007 WHEN.....

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the Microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not stay in in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on TV has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before you get your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile :)
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly who you are going to send this to.
14. You are to busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.

AND NOW U R LAUGHING AT YOURSELF!!!!

So we watched the new Margaret Cho DVD last night....and I feel the same way my wife does...read about it here.

Sorry Margaret...you're just not funny anymore.

May everyone who reads this have a safe and joyous NEW YEAR!
SEE YOU IN 2007!

If you write it, they will read...

Well I've switched to the "new and improved" Blogger. We'll see how it goes...

On another note: I AM SO VERY PROUD OF MY WIFE! Today she was contacted by a publisher with a green light to go ahead and start working on her ghost book! HOW FUCKING COOL IS THAT?! So now our friend Patrick is moving back here from AR because she and he are writing the book together. I get to be the photo guy and chauffeur. :-)

AWESOME!!

:-)

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Kids suck

Anne Ramsey "Mama Fratelli" couldn't have been more right!

I mean, the little bastards next door and down the street from us are driving me to drink! I really wish it wasn't illegal for me to beat the shit out of a little 11 year old punk brat! Grrrrrrr. Their parents obviously don't give any kind of shit about their kids. They are ALWAYS over here, always causing trouble...[our kids] always end up running in the house in tears because 'this one threw a rock at me,' or 'that one whipped me with a strap,' or 'they pushed me off my bike.' ENOUGH ALL-FUCKING READY! Yelling at those little bastards doesn't do anything. And I can't stop the kids from going outside to play. BUT, they DO insist on continuing to play with the rotten slugs, so it's kinda getting to the point where it's like fight your own GDamn battles, man. Either come in the house or learn to beat the shit out of somebody who's hitting YOU...and yeah, we'll dare a parent to get all up in our face...we'll beat THEM down too!

HMPH.

From Tony's blog...

GRUB-OLOGY
What is your salad dressing of choice? Cucumber Ranch
What is your favorite fast food restaurant? Taco Bell
What is your favorite sit down restaurant? Chili's
On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant? 15%
What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? Sushi
Name three foods you detest above all others. Mangos, Brussel Sprouts, Chicken Fried Steak
What is your favorite dish to order in a Chinese restaurant? Orange Chicken
What are your pizza toppings of choice? Black olives, mushrooms, onions, bell peppers
What do you like to put on your toast? Strawberry preserves
What is your favorite type of gum? Don't normally chew gum

TECH-OLOGY
Number of contacts in your cell phone? Contacts are in my eyes, not cell phone
Number of contacts in your email address book? See above...
What is your wallpaper on your computer? Santa Clause ripping Rudolph's head off and feeding it to the elves...(okay, it's really a highway leading into a perfect sunset...)
What is your screensaver on your computer? It's called Shades - different colored lines that move around quickly
Are there naked pictures saved on your computer? NO
How many land line phones do you have in your house? 1
How many cordless phones do you have in your house? 2
How many televisions are in your house? That work? 3
What kitchen appliance do you use the least? Blender/Smoothie maker
What is the format of the radio station you listen to the most? Soft rock
How many sex toys do you own that require batteries? Well, the T.V. remote really turns me on

BI-OLOGY(this topic could go both ways...)
What do you consider to be your best physical attribute? Smile
Are you right handed or left handed? Right
Do you like your smile? See first question
Have you ever had anything removed from your body? Appendix...and a strange wart-like thing that I had on my leg for like, ever, and one day it was gone, never to return...alien implant perhaps?
Would you like to? Already have and I wouldn't recommend it
Do you prefer to read when you go to the bathroom? Yes, magazines, shampoo bottles, whatever is available...
Which of your five senses do you think is keenest? Hearing...and I can also read my wife's mind...we've tried it...it's very cool! :)
When was the last time you had a cavity? 5 months ago, resulting in a root canal
What is the heaviest item you lift regularly? My ga-dunk-a-dunk
Have you ever been knocked unconscious? Yeah (Tony's answer)...you got knocked the fuck out! Hehehe
My answer...no

MISC-OLOGY
If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? No
If you could change your first name, what would you change it to? Actually, I did change it - sort of...but just the spelling.
How do you express your artistic side? Masturbate while doing paint by numbers
What color do you think you look best in? Shades of Autumn and Springtime
How long do you think you could last in a medium security prison? An hour
Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake? A quarter, in 3rd grade
If we weren’t bound by society’s conventions, do you have a relative you would make a pass at? Umm, no
How often do you go to church? Never. I don't believe in organized religion.
Have you ever saved someone’s life? I gave the heimlich maneuver to my brother when he was choking on a piece of candy...he never gave it back either...brat.

DARE-OLOGY
For this last section, if you would do it for less or more money, indicate how much...
Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000? Yes
Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100? Yes
Would you have sex with a member of the same sex for $10,000? I would do it for One Million (hey, if actors can get that much for pretending...)
Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000? Only if it was going to be painless
Would you never blog again for $50,000? You betcha!
Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000? I wouldn't do it for less than $1 Million
Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1,000? I might do it for $5,000 and only if I could choose the sauce.
Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000? No, cause I don't think God would be too happy with me, and that punishment I WOULD fear
Would you shave your head and get your entire body waxed for $5,000? $50,000
Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000? What do I get outta the deal, except for missing Desperate Housewives? I'd do it for $1 Million
Has someone ever saved yours? (Life, I'm assuming?) My wife.

Daddy Mombassa

So we were playing Trivial Pursuit the other night and one of my questions was: "What Kenyan city are airborne business graduates headed for if their luggage tags read "MBA"?

I said, "Mombossa." And she said, "now how the FUCK did you know that?!" :-) Ah, it was a GLORIOUS moment, indeed!

I ended up winning that round of Triv. Pur. I'm documenting it here, now, because it will undoubtedly never happen again.

*And yes, she has demanded a re-match!

Peace.

SOUL PATROL!

GO TAYLOR! IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY! PARTY LIKE IT'S 1999!

I'm so glad he won. If Katharine McPhee would have, I would have cried.

For 8 years they were a part of our lives...they made us laugh...they made us cry. Now the moment has passed and we must move on. We loved them and will they will be missed immensely.

WILL, GRACE, KAREN, JACK
1998-2006

Katharine McPhuck You!

I hate her. Yes hate is a strong word and I mean every character...I won't say that I wish her ill will or that she fails in everything she tries to do, 'cause that's just putting bad ju ju on myself...but you get the idea without me actually saying it.

She sucks! How can anyone so untalented as she...miss her fucking lyrics two weeks in a row and be kept OVER CHRIS?! She sucks!

She just flashes her boobies and bats her eye lashes and she's in the game. She sucks!

I was so sure that Chris was going to win and so did a lot of other people...including him. Did you see the look on his face when Ryan told him he was going home? Yeah, I would have slapped the shit outta Katharine before I walked off of the stage. She sucks!

But he WILL prevail. Oh yes, it's just a matter of time before we hear him on the radio. I'm pretty sure Katharine won't even be approached to sing the jingle for a Toilet Wand commercial.

SHE FUCKING SUCKS!

Shout out to Fry's!

Okay, so recently we just really grew tired of people sitting on the patio furniture outside of the entrance to our local Fry's store and smoking. It's really gross having to walk through a cloud of smoke before going into the grocery store. So we took it upon ourselves to send in a comment card asking Mr. Fry if there was anything that could be done about this...

Two days ago when we went to get some groceries, there on the table next to the front door is a NO SMOKING IN THIS AREA sign. WAY COOL! It feels really good to know that YOU are the one who made a difference. (katie wrote the letter btw so gotta give her props.) :-)

Peace. (and fresh air)

Stick it to the MAN!

So...Here is the final outcome of the "P-Noble" situation. We were at the mall about a week ago, and I decided to stop by the T-Mobile Solutions kiosk and talk to them to see if there was anything they could do for me (they are different than the people at 611 - Customer Care).

Well, after about an hour of talking to them about marriage counseling (his, not mine), DUI's (again, his not mine), a Hooter's birthday party for a 10-year-old (yeah, a bunch of real nice guys we were dealing with...) Anyway, I finally decided on getting a brand new Motorola V188 phone (which I'm loving, btw) for $10! Yeah, ten dollars...you heard me right. We caught the tail-end of a special they were running. AND, I sold that other piece of shit on Ebay for $89! May the lucky bidder have a more pleasant experience with that phone than I did...

So...all's well that ends well.

Peace.